Here’s a few reasons why the rest of the ACC should be upset about the news out of Chapel Hill.
114 of them to be exact. Because that’s how many ACC titles Carolina won from the 92-93 season until the most recent 13-14 season. And as far as I’m concerned they’re all tainted. Those titles are all “ungood and distrue”.
And why should the rest of the ACC get mad? Because UNC won 21.2% of all the ACC titles in that timespan. 31 more total titles than the 2nd place team. The playing field wasn’t level and it was tilted in UNC’s favor.
If you were a student athlete at an ACC school (or anybody else UNC played), maybe you wished you had some extra time in the weight room, the batting cage or the gym but you were researching papers or pulling an allnighter for a class project. Meanwhile your counterpart wearing that ugly light blue wasn’t even going to class and turning in plagiarized papers. Seems fair, right?
Of course not every player in every sport at UNC was cheating. But sorry, for the point of this article you’re all guilty by association.
So by the power invested in me by absolutely no one (kinda like the Helms Foundation), I am declaring the runner-up the new ACC champion. Like Oprah does with cars, I’m handing out ACC titles (you get a title and you get a title)
Especially in the sports that you can tell from the e-mails were in on the scam.
So congrats Clemson, you now have your first ACC men’s basketball championship. Virginia you get one too and I’ll throw another Duke’s way (not that they need it). And 2 of them are going to the rafters of the PNC Arena and now belong to NC State (and years of message board arguments are forever changed now that both Sidney Lowe and Herb Sendek have an ACC title). And while we’re at it, take down that national championship banner that wasn’t won on the court and awarded by a bakery, it is dumb.
Moving on to women’s basketball, hey Clemson you benefit again. I’m awarding you 2 titles giving you a 4-peat from 1996 to 1999. Duke gets 3 more and Maryland and Virginia each get one as well. And one will go in the rafters of Reynolds Coliseum giving the late, great Kay Yow her 5th title.
Make room at the baseball stadium in Blacksburg because Virginia Tech has their first ACC baseball banner to hang. And Wake Forest gets one too.
Football, UNC has to return those stupid and now double fraudulent Coastal Division title rings.
Women’s soccer, Florida State gets 4 titles, Virginia Tech gets 1, Virginia gets 2, Clemson gets 3, Duke gets 4, Wake Forest gets 1 and Maryland gets 2. Competitive parity instead of domination by cheaters.
There will also be new homes for the following:
• 3 women’s cross country titles
• 9 field hockey titles
• 2 men’s golf titles and a 3rd that Georgia Tech no longer has to share
• 1 women’s golf title
• 4 men’s lacrosse titles
• 1 women’s lacrosse title
• 2 men’s soccer titles
• 1 softball title
• 6 men’s swimming titles
• 8 women’s swimming titles
• 1 men’s tennis title
• 2 women’s tennis titles
• 2 men’s indoor track titles
• 11 women’s indoor track titles
• 3 men’s outdoor track titles
• 10 women’s outdoor track titles
• 3 volleyball titles and 2 more that Duke and Maryland no longer have to share
• 10 wrestling titles
• And even though they’re not ACC titles, I’m going to need those 5 gymnastics titles too.
But wait, there’s more. I’m going to distribute the following as well:
• 3 national championships in basketball (Illinois you get one, Tom Izzo and the Spartans get one and Michigan gets one but thanks to Chris Webber I’m not sure they’re allowed to accept it)
• 1 women’s basketball national title that will be going to Louisiana Tech
• 12 women’s soccer titles, 2 go to UConn, 1 each to Penn St, Stanford, UCLA, George Mason and Duke, and 5 will go to Notre Dame
• 5 field hockey titles
• 1 women’s lacrosse title
• 2 men’s soccer titles
UConn should have a bone to pick too. They report their grades truthfully and don’t get to participate in the NCAA tourney because of their APR score. Carolina just inflates theirs with fake classes and changed grades, no problem with their APR score. Seems fair, right UConn?
So that should give the rest of the ACC (and the country) a look at the scope and the magnitude of what cheating got UNC and what could have been yours. 114 ACC titles and 24 national titles. Every single one of them tainted. And I want to give them good homes.
By the way, do you know how many ACC titles UNC won in 13-14 after they (allegedly) cleaned up their act? Zero.
